We ended last night in tears and hugs after one of those days where the tension is escalating to finally bombs dropping .
I had tried all day to express my point of how “Mommy needs help!” This means: clean your room, pick up your cheese wrappers, wash out your oatmeal bowl, take your wet towels out of the car so it doesn’t smell, stop asking me to get you things you can get yourself, stop arguing, stop whining, stop debating with ME CHILD!’ As I write this I remember my own Mom “nagging me”.
Charlotte says, “you’re so harsh.” I told her she was acting like Nelly, off of Little House on the Prairie and hurt her heart in my frustration. As she was crying, I began to cry too out of regret over my mouth. I stepped away to another room to pray for patience and the words to get to her heart.
My disappointment and fear is that in my short time with her, I would not instill a servants heart. This is an area that I’m constantly battling too.
I’m highly aware how blessed, spoiled and easy life is these days. We live in a society of self gratification and limitless opportunities where if you don’t like something, don’t do it! I’m aware it’s easier for me to pick up after her than to slow down and teach obedience and how doing the little things right matters. But when I’m tired and tapped out, I just want to get along! I had no words last night, but I went back in and just held her and said “let’s do better tomorrow" and asked for forgiveness.
God, HE is so faithful to us when we ASK. He woke me up at 5:30am, I tried to go back to sleep but He put Prov. 31 in my head! Dangit! “She rises while it is still dark” . Over and over that played in my head unil at 6:00AM I gave in and got up. I knew He had something for me.
My quiet time began with Elizabeth Elliot’s book on Disciplines. Today’s chapter, ”The discipline of Work” He of course addressed the log in my eye first. I went to bed feeling sorry for myself. I made a list of all the things I am responsible for, I made a mental list of my work load and I got bitter and went to sleep. This morning began with looking out over my beautiful back yard, I am healthy, strong, peaceful and so blessed and grateful for the sounds on my porch, the feeling of Gods presence with me, the coffee steaming in my cup, the excitement I get in the morning to see her wake up and snuggle for a moment. The work I enjoy with my job I have ahead of me that pays for our needs and the gratitude list goes on and on.
I read about Christian Martyrs who began their ministry in humble, mundane and hard working lowly positions that prepared them for His glory. Doing your work for God, whatever it may be, is about approaching it always in humility. How we are not being served, but in serving (not for man) but your Master in Heaven. Not in being praised but knowing God is pleased when you are honoring your duties.
Work is good and without it we wouldn’t appreciate leisure and rest. I just broke my 72 hour fast, without it, I would forget how amazing my body feels to be taken care of with nutritious food. Boring chicken just became AMAZING again!
Sometimes our work may not be fulfilling, it may not be a career, it may feel below us, but perhaps in that season it teaches humility, servanthood and finding purpose/fulfillment in Him and not the tasks of what we do being constantly glamorous and gratifying. And that’s what I wanted to express to her heart. The same exact message He is giving me.
When she woke up, we talked on the patio. I told her, "Mommy wants you to know how grateful I am that God let’s me be a mom, own a home, work a business that provides for us. Sometimes Mom gets exhausted and cranky, but you can help remind me that when we do the dishes or mow the lawn that God is pleased when we take good care of what He has blessed us with." I was able to express today what I couldn’t last night, how could I have when my own heart wasn’t aligned? Just as Mom honors God in all the work, she can too! The added bonus for her is that by being obedient to what I ask of her, God is also pleased with children obeying their parents. So she gets to make Him EXTRA pleased by making her bed! HA!
Our next scripture memory is going to be Col 3:23, "And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not to men."
I’m pretty sure I’m not the only cranky and overwhelmed Mother or person who needed this today! It’s mid week! Enjoy your work day. There is joy, purpose and gratitude to be found in everything, it all depends on how we look at it!